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Writer's pictureAnita

How {on Earth} to be a good person?

Updated: Mar 12, 2018

And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son?

And what did you hear, my darling young one?

I heard the sound of a thunder, that roared out a warnin'

I heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world

I heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin'

I heard ten thousand whisperin' and nobody listenin'

I heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin'

Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter

Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley

And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard

It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Bob Dylan - A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall (1962)


Is it enough to not stab people with a knife to call yourself a ‘good person’? If this is it, then consider it a pretty easy task that many humans are obviously too dumb to complete.

I am sorry if I am offending somebody, by the way. To be honest, I cannot imagine a serial killer sitting in his kitchen, with an apron around his waist, looking for recipes in a student’s blog. Don’t know whether I should, therefore, be honored or concerned. It would make for an intriguing story.

The world is fed up with humans not knowing how to treat it and each other with warm feelings. It surprises me and hurts me to the bones. Maybe it is benevolence that makes us vulnerable. Some feel like they are carrying the burden of thousand souls when they give without receiving; when they expose the kind heart which is stripped the moment bad spirits spot it and try to use it for their own purposes. The moment you realize you have been used delivers a heart-breaking or even embarrassing sensation, very difficult to shake off.

Trust me, though: the other side of this hypocritical coin compensates for all the times you have felt bitter. People you’ve met once might not remember your name, but they will remember the things you’ve done for them. The honest kindness that you emit is the strongest antiseptic against the poison in a tarnished heart.

Note that this does not mean supporting views like: “If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.” If this happens, feel free to leave a confident red mark on that son of a female dog’s face. Yell at them to compose themselves, calm down, and, in case you decide that they deserve it, give them a pack of frozen vegetables to put it on their cheek. Then, take another pack for yourself and sit beside them.

The simplest mode of existence is to be good.


Approach the other members of the Homo Sapiens kind with a smile. There are some individualists who don’t believe in the power of the smile, but they most probably still live in the dawn of photography when the camera didn’t know what ‘teeth’ meant. Prove to these guys that eyes and mouth without wrinkles have never truly loved. Once again, I am sorry if people who find beauty anti-aging, anti-wrinkle products efficient understand this as a rant against them.

Make tea for people. Tea bonds people, brings them together and makes conversations flow easier. Give them a clean mug, the one in the sink that the mould hasn’t caught yet, the one in which the tea stays warm the longest, the one that has a story. Pour the water and let a new story form in the space between your mug and that other person’s mug.

What is your story? What and who do you love? Pronounce names of places, objects and people as if there is nothing else that exists in the world at the moment and don’t be afraid to let affection slip from your words. People are most beautiful when they speak about the things they love. Before you finish speaking, even halfway before you finish, pause, listen and hold onto your interlocutor’s engagement. Ask them what makes them wake up every day (besides physiological needs and the body’s lack of readiness to die).

If your house is cold, give them a blanket. If a long way home awaits them, let them keep the blanket and give all the necessary instructions on how to preserve its softness: degrees of the laundry machine, detergent, reverse osmosis of the water, etc. Don’t ever ask what happened to the blanket you gave them, but feel free to be overwhelmed when you see their grandchild wrapped in it one day - the colors fading, the warmth increasing with every person’s body.

Don’t poke people in the eye, it hurts. We are fragile beings. Don’t push them down stairs, don’t run them over with your bike, don’t be mad for no reason. Please. Say “I am sorry,” not just “Excuse me.” You will always be pardoned, but if you didn’t say “I am sorry” they wouldn’t know you gave a damn. Inhale before saying a damaging word.

Become one with nature. Help a bird with a broken wing and don’t run when you see a bear, because it will reach you and eat you. Lie down and pretend to be dead – this is what I mean by becoming one with nature.

Don’t fake your personality and don’t break others’ ways of being. Embrace what they have to offer. Help them find the way out of the mud and give advice only when it is needed: let people create their own wisdom.

Tell the people you meet on your way from the top about the breath-taking view up there and convince them that the exhaustion in their feet disappears immediately when they step in the marks left by your own feet. Be humble. In a metaphorical sense, if you are coming down from the top, do not envy those who are just about to reach the peak; don’t pull them down. Don’t shake their hand – hug them and say: “Good luck.” Only then will the peak be waiting for you to return.

Share a page from your favorite book. Allow their gaze to get lost between the lines. Watch them while they drown in tears of joy, because words heal more than anything else.


Start humming a song.


For me, it is enough that a person I have spent a minute of the day with, says in the end: “Twas a good one.”


Photo credits: Verne Ho on Unsplash


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