Photo by Alexandre Debiève on Unsplash
You are a downright liar if you lie and say that you always use Google only as a source of transportation to YouTube, Netflix, Facebook, and highly sophisticated online morning newspapers for your daily overdose of information about people who have nothing to do with you. You are a liar if you lie - connections connecting. You could Google whether you are a liar if you lie, but you know that you have your own range of marvelous questions, the answers to some of which could only be found on the Dark Web. By the way… is the Dark Web really dark?
Below is a list of the types of questions I have found myself circling around at 4:43:17 am, and examples of their materialization in the searching window of THE GOOGLE.
The ‘My Activity’ One: How can I check my weirdest Google searches
The ‘CIA Concerns Relating to My Activity’ One: Does Google keep an account of my weirdest searches
The ‘Pointless Battles’ One: Can I sue a delivery company for forcing me to stay at home even more consciously during lockdown
The ‘I Gotta Do Something Big with My Life’: Mount Everest climbing
The ‘I Gotta Do Something Big with My Life, but I Also Want to Count All the Risks Before That’ follow-up: Mount Everest chance of dying
The ‘I Gotta Do Something Big with My Life, but Maybe Smaller’ follow-up to the follow-up: Mount Everest safer equivalents
The ‘Mum, I Am Running for President’ One: How to persuade somebody to vote for you
The ‘Don’t Do This at Home’ One: How to bleach your hair at home
The ‘I Did This at Home and It Didn’t Go Well’ One: Can you grow your bald spots after bleaching
The ‘Guilt Does not Lead to Results. Stop Feeling Guilty and Keep on Doin’ What You Doin’’ One: How to procrastinate without letting your brain know that you are doing it
The ‘My Friends Will Hate Me After That’ One: A guide to surprising a friend with a stripper
The ‘Identity Crisis’ One: How to be a good person
The ‘Emotional Confusion’ One: Why do I cry when I drop a fork on the floor
The 'Emotional Confusion (Musical Version)’ One: Why do I cry when I listen to ABBA
The ‘Ruler of the World’ One: Am I smart enough to fool death
The ‘Doubtful Ruler of the World’ One: Am I smart enough in general
The ‘Concerned Ruler of My Own World’ One: Am I smart (not even enough)
The ‘Conspiracy’ One: Was the coronavirus created by Amazon’s Jeff Bezos to increase online sales
The ‘I Want to Wear Thongs, but They Go into my Bum’ One: What type of knickers would fit my bum shape the best
The ‘Jealous Talent’ One: Why do all actors sing
The ‘I Know I am a 90s Kid, but…’ One: Am I a 90s kid if I was born in 1997
The ‘Oranges Are Bad’ One: Is Vitamin C dangerous
The ‘Recurring Quiz’ One: Which Harry Potter film should I watch tonight quiz
The Really Dumb One: Can cocaine suddenly appear in my suitcase at the airport through the power of my fear
The ‘I Was the First One in History to Discover That…’: Mick Jagger is actually Van Morrison
The ‘I Gotta Change’ One: How to get a 6-pack in a day
The ‘I Finally Understand Gordon Ramsay’ One: Does Gordon Ramsay have a short temper or are people actually thick
The Really Dumb One Vol.2: Best brands of vodka to treat the flu
The ‘Go Check This Out NOW’: The soothing sound of 14 down pitched crying babies
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